Release Date: February 10, 2015
Publisher: Harper Teen
Review Copy from Edelweiss
There's death all around us.
We just don't pay attention.
Until we do.
The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment.
Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be.
As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.
Lex's brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn't have to be real to keep you from moving on.
From New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand, The Last Time We Say Goodbye is a gorgeous and heart-wrenching story of love, loss, and letting go.
My Thoughts:
The Last Time
We Say Goodbye belongs to a
category of books that I am always very careful about – books that
focus on the aftermath of suicide. As someone who has, and still is,
going through the process of understanding why someone I love would
want to kill himself, the process of questioning whether there is
something I could have done differently to prevent it, I have become
wary of these types of books. I have started to expect a sense of
realism, sense of the fact that the author knows what she or he is
writing about. I have started to see which authors are writing from
their own experience and which authors are using the premise without
having experienced it themselves. Though I would NEVER want this sort
of thing to happen to anyone, I am glad that there are people out
there willing to share their experiences in one form or another.
Cynthia Hand does just that, brilliantly so, in The Last
Time We Say Goodbye, through
telling the story of Lex who's little brother has killed himself.
Since Tyler shot himself in their garage, Lex has been known as the
girl whose brother killed himself. People are walking on eggshells
around her, not sure what to say to her or how to act around her.
She's going to therapy out of her mother's request though she herself
does not see any point for going. What could this man who did not
even know Tyler say that could help? The fact that her mother's a
mess does not help – she's popping pills and drinking wine every
night, trying to drown her sorrows that way. And then she says that
she is able to sense Tyler's presence in house. Lex knows that it is
not possible – Tyler is dead, gone, under the ground, never to be
seen again. So how can she explain that she is seeing Ty too, sensing
him in places that he should not be anymore? He's dead, afterall.
The first time this whole Tyler's presence/ghost thing was brought up
in the book, I almost gave up. I don't know, I was just so looking
forward to reading a contemporary novel, something that was really
tied down to reality. I was afraid that this ghost thing would turn
into something paranormal and something that would turn the things
upside down. My biggest fear was that it would be something that
would turn this story around, something that would allow Lex to
prevent what happened to Tyler. For someone who has gone through the
motions of the suicide aftermath, reading something in which a
character can prevent it from happening is like pouring acid to your
skin – you wasn't able to prevent it, what did you do wrong? I am
relieved to say that very quickly, this ghost thing was explained to
the reader and it became something that just pushed the narrative
forward. It became something realistic and something that I now see
as an essential part of the story.
I don't think I have identified with a character quite so much for a
long time. Though I am not a science geek like Lex, I share her
outlook to life. She's logical, quite pessimistic and rather believes
in facts than in feelings. The fact that she has lost someone she
loves has made her realize that love does not conquer all, that
sometimes it hurts more than it should. The fact that her friends do
not seem to know how to talk to her anymore and the fact that she
does not feel like she has the right to be happy has made her a bit
of a loner – she rather is alone that tries to explain to someone
how she feels, because how do you explain the black hole in your
chest for someone who has not experienced the same. The situations
finds herself from, the encounters she has with her people and people
at school, brought up so many memories of a similar situation I was
in.
There
is no way for me to express through words how much I appreciated
Cynthia Hand's honesty with this book. For someone who has been lucky
enough not to have gone through something as difficult as Lex is
going through, the prose will reveal the raw emotions and the sadness
that just feels like it is going to swallow you whole. For someone
who has been unfortunate enough to experience like this, the fact
that someone is willing to write honestly about it feels like you are
not alone with what you went through. There are couple of instances
in which I have read books in which suicide has been present and
after a couple of weeks, the characters just seem to have forgotten
it. In those instances, I have started to feel like a failure – how
can these characters forget it all and go on when after 10 years I am
still thinking about every single day. The Last Time We Say
Goodbye did not make me feel
like that, but rather allowed me to relate to this story, to feel for
Lex and to also go through my own experiences, which can be a really
cathartic experience.
Through it definitely isn't the focus of this story, there's a little
romance here present. I was afraid it would unsurp the story of Lex's
sorrow and dealing with it, but was happy to notice that though it is
there, it isn't the point of this story. This really isn't a love
story in the romantic sense. It is more of story about a sister's
love and sorrow and about the little hopefulness that is present,
even in the times of sadness that seems too heavy. The last 10% made
me cry big, fat tears, but in the end, I felt good – sometimes it
is just feels good to have a proper cry and to clear your head that
way. If you are looking for a generic happy and uplifting story, The
Last Time We Say Goodbye might not be for you. But if you want
something that will make you think, something that will make you
appreciate what you have and who you have in your life, please do
yourself a favor and pick this one up. It will break your heart, it
will make you cry, but it will also change you. At least it changed
me.
5 Snowflakes
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